Tag Archives: anorexia

Don’t Call Me Crazy 3

TW: Mentions suicide, self harm, anorexia, and voices inside the head. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IN AN UNSAFE PLACE EMOTIONALLY.

The final episode of Don’t Call Me Crazy throws a spotlight on to males with mental health problems. I think mental illness can be particularly difficult for men given the myriad of social expectations and stereotypes around them. Bullshit like men don’t cry or men bottle things up. These stereotypes also have a negative effect on men as they are so ingrained into our culture. If men are trained not to talk or speak about something bothering them then places like the McGuinness unit may be a last resort after a build up of problems.

Firstly we meet Matty, who was brought to the McGuinness unit after his lecturer found him at college writing suicidal thoughts on the Internet. He has a fear of being killed on his 18th birthday and has plotted out in great detail his own solution to the problem. Chillingly he has worked out the cost of a gun, and intends to use one to kill himself.

In an art therapy group where patients are using pictures taken from magazines to illustrate their problems Matty chooses the emboldened word ‘THOUGHTS’ and a picture of red boxes all close together. He is able to articulate to the art therapist that the word represents his thoughts and the boxes close together represent the voices all shouting at him at once..

I think the visual aids helped him to consolidate initially his own problem. They can come upon him at any time as is shown when he has to leave the room abruptly when the voices begin. Voices from my impression of Matty seem to be really crippling things. Imagine trying to move with a heavy weight on your back. You would probably move slowly and slightly fearfully due to the pain. It seems that this is how it is for Matty. He cannot predict when the voices will strike so has a constant crippling fear gnawing at him and in many ways it becomes easy to understand why faced with this scenario he would want to kill himself.

I am not saying anyone should; nothing of the kind but it is easy to understand why somebody in the grip of depression thoughts of suicide and psychosis would want to. It seems like a temptation, and a way of escaping the problem. But that said also there are healthier ways of achieving this.

After having home leave cancelled Matty begins to open up to Mental Health Nurse Pete about his regret over not talking to somebody before he felt the urge to self harm the previous night.

Mental health is not about perfection straightaway, it is about as Pete says learning lessons for the future. The two then bond over a shared love of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers song ‘It’s My Aeroplane’ and the tattoos of the lead singer Anthony Kiedis.

Such bonding is important as it helps to build up trust and rapport. I share Matty’s love for music and it is definitely one of my techniques for de-stressing too.

Later in the programme we see Matty with occupational therapist Vicky. The group are talking about support and are asked to name five people who support them. Matty is initially unable to think of anyone and writes that down. However by the end of the session there is progress as he has managed to name five people and the voices have not emotionally crippled him this time.

For Dr Andy Rogers, Head of Psychological Therapies at the McGuinness Unit, hearing voices is nothing more dramatic than a common response to stress when the mind races. I think that the lack of sensationalism around mental health has been a real strength of this series. Practitioners such as those in the McGuinness unit deal with situations as they are rather than how they would like them to be. Understanding the story around the voice helps a lot according to Dr Rogers both for the patient and medical professional alike. I think I know that nothing mental health wise ever happens in a vacuum. There is always a trigger and as I said previously it is about walking alongside people while they figure out what that trigger is.

After Matty is restrained he meets with case manager Maureen to discuss his anger. He tells us that he attended anger management. This failed him though and only served to make him more angry. This is not unusual. In my own experience when I feel pissed off I tend to feel anxious first. Anger is a visceral strong emotion and does not appear generally as a first response. Rather the anger is precipitated by other events. Matty actually getting to grips with what he is dealing with is a powerful moment for him and a powerful moment for me as a viewer.

In this episode too, we also meet George, a gifted rugby player who won a prestigious rugby scholarship to a top boarding school. Far from home though he became depressed and began to hear a man’s voice telling him he was worthless and should quit rugby.

As psychiatrist Dr Ihenacho suggests any kind of competitive pressure can cause depression and anxiety . Competing against people who are equally talented as you are can break you as you are always comparing and contrasting your abilities with those of others. He shares time with his father reminiscing about happier times on the rugby field. He speaks tenderly about a card he has received from the boys in his House at boarding school.

For George the McGuinness unit is a safety blanket. He feels safer than he did before and he knows he is with people who understand. His mental health assessment helps him to understand his problems better. Matty too echoes these thoughts. So then, the act of listening is so simple but rarely practised to any great effect. We must listen more, much more and be there for people when they need us most.

George confides in Gill about a wall he punched and how he was given diazepam. Gill is not shocked, nor does she condemn him. What we need to do is to harness such attitudes and to spread them out into the wider world. A better more compassionate humanity is what is really needed here. We need greater empathy too. Empathy is not the same as sympathy. People say I am very understanding and very empathetic and I listen. Yet it saddens me that this should be something so wonderful and remarkable. Why can’t more people do it?

An attraction developed this week too between George and Beth. They have a good laugh but wind each other up as well. A funny moment occurs when Beth throws George’s slippers out the window. To say sorry she makes a pancake. At least she cared even if George didn’t fancy touching the pancake!

For Beth the overriding narrative of this week is one of progress. She is eating more, being weighed and for the first time is allowed to eat on her own. Ultimately, she is speaking more positively than ever before. This is heart warming to see and gives you a kind of happy feeling. However such transformation is not without its problems. A difficulty comes for Beth when the review team makes a decision to stop her Zopiclone and replace it with melatonin. We see her in distress at this development, begging a nurse to reverse the decision with one of the doctors.

In institutional settings, any change in routine can be destabilising. Its significance can also be increased. Beth feels the staff are against her and are letting her down. The reality is she’s sleeping effectively without the medication and no longer requires it. But when decisions are made for you and not by you it can be hard to see that they are in your best interest.

We see this later too, when home leave is cancelled due to Beth self harming close to discharge. For Dr Rogers though, blips are not unusual. Think about it if you have been in an enclosed space for several months, going back to familiar spaces may not feel so familiar at all. It is natural to resort to a way of coping when we are scared often the way of coping we fall back on most, even if it is not the healthiest.

But the best thing is Beth herself realises that self harming may not be the best way of coping as in no longer has the same effect for her and in her words “doesn’t even hurt, [and] was just annoying when it wouldn’t stop bleeding.”

Beth was then happily discharged soon after and according to narration had not self harmed since leaving the McGuinness unit. Matty was discharged into the care of an adult mental health unit after turning 18 and is now back at college.

George made the decision not to return to his boarding school and to study for the same scholarship locally to his family in Essex. For me this is no way a retrograde step. Sometimes we can all feel a huge amount of guilt over our decision-making since it can have an impact on others too.

However we are all built differently, and whilst one decision may suit one person it may not suit another. I am glad wholeheartedly that George did the right thing for him – well not only for him but also for his mental health. People say you only get one body, and there is a plethora of health and safety advice about looking after your back, for example. You only get one mind too, and that needs looking after also.

In closing let me just say a few words on the series and mental health in general. You may be wondering why I decided to dedicate three blogs to this series. Why mental health matters to me so much. As regular readers will know and new readers may not up until 2012 I was in counselling every year of my life for various things. The bulk of it was due to depression around my disability and my stepfather’s abuse. I have devoted enough time to transsexuality elsewhere in the blog’s are not going to discuss it here.

But you see, when I was first sent for counselling all those years ago, I felt crazy. I knew it was something everyone did. It’s not like an after-school club that everyone goes to. I would shoot off in my school uniform to the offices of my local Social Services Department. Nobody ever knew where I was going. But talking helped, talking to a stranger who did not judge who did not think badly of me who would just listen and allow me to talk, not sharing preconceptions even if they had them. Talking and being heard was vitally important.

Latterly I went to college, and things were pretty bleak. I was boarding away from home and just felt really lonely. I was having counselling and had managed one session with my new counsellor, when she said to me;

“I can’t work with you till the fog clears. I want you to go and see the doctor about antidepressants.”

Antidepressants, I thought. What the fuck! I’m only 18! I later told the deputy care manager that I was scared people would think I was a nutter.

But it turned out I wasn’t alone. There was a special set of appointments after the main general medical ones for students with mental health problems. You see, we reflect our own stigma. My attitude of choice towards mental health problems is informed by my own depression. Nutter is a value judgement. Yet instead of being kinder to ourselves it is these value judgements which we are most afraid of. Having a mental health problem is scary and isolating. But it is far easier to go through it with kindred spirits than alone. Mental illness is not having to walk on eggshells. Mental illness is not feeling pissed off we all feel pissed off. But imagine if that’s the only feeling you feel.

That is mental illness. The worst thing you can do it to tell somebody to cheer up or to snap out of it. This may be something you do to ease your conscience, and maybe your way of wishing that the person’s suffering would go away. But the best thing you can do is to listen and hear.

For I tell you people can understand my disability in a heartbeat. They can see my wheelchair. They can see I can’t walk. But depression is less well understood.

Eating disorders and self harm too present their own unique challenges. A friend at uni told me they had an eating disorder. They were shocked by my understanding. Their explanation of it from their world and their perspective made perfect sense. I don’t judge that perspective nor think about it for when somebody is disclosing something it is their voice and theirs alone which is important. My task then is to shut up and listen as counsellors did for me. Empathy is very important.

It saddens me that many do not understand even belittle or make fun of mental health problems. They are not fun and not a joke..

People with mental health problems deserve our respect our love and our care. Even if you can’t directly empathise with a problem, learn about it read and listen.

I’m so proud of all the participants in Don’t Call Me Crazy. I think it has achieved its objective of showing other young viewers they are not alone. Places like the McGuinness unit are a much needed safety blanket of love and support, sometimes tough love but love all the same.

The thing that saddens me though is the act of listening is not rocket science. We can all do it, yet sometimes I think we choose not to. Let us make better choices and not ascribe pariah status to those with mental health problems, especially the young.

Let us open ears, silence preconceptions and opinions and listen. Many of the young people sounded as though the McGuinness unit was the only place they had felt truly listened to. Does that not disturb you? It smacks of a huge deficit in society and it is not a financial one either. It is a deficit of humankind and only humankind can solve it.

Asking for help should never be the wrong choice. It is not a weak choice either. Sometimes it may be the only choice, the best choice and the strongest choice you ever make.

And for others, make the choice to say this:

“Yes okay. I may not understand everything but I am willing to listen. For the person with mental health problems, those may be the best words they ever hear.

The irony of this show for me, and the irony of mental health from the bottom of my heart is that people with mental health problems often make the most sense.


Don’t Call Me Crazy: Part 2

TW: Mentions hallucinations, self harm and anorexia. DO NOT read if in an unsafe place emotionally.

At the start of the second episode of Don’t Call Me Crazy we meet 14-year-old Crystal who has hallucinations and staff are determined to get to the bottom of why. These characters have been with her for a long time. The two most prominent ones are named 7 and 75.7 is a 14-year-old girl, 75 is a dog and there is another character Autumn, a rat who she describes as having really long teeth.

The key thing is that some of these characters are friends to Crystal whilst others are not. 7 is friendly whilst the rat Autumn is not and the reason why she was admitted is because the bad were making her feel suicidal.

The medical team begins to assess rightly by excluding physiological and biological explanations for these hallucinations. Such things, according to the McGuinness Unit’s psychiatrist Dr Ihenacho include deficiencies in liver, kidney and thyroid function.

I must emphasise here that people like Crystal are struggling, not crazy. For her the characters are 100% real, as real as you or I. When blood tests come back clear we know that the cause of Crystal’s hallucinations is psychological.

Art therapy is a tool which seems to help Crystal greatly. Through visualising painful memories it helps to unlock Crystal’s pain. She draws what art therapist Charlotte calls “the good guys” and then the bad guys.

One of them is simply called The Man and has no eyes, purely empty eye sockets denoted by extremely dark shading on the drawing. One way to rationalise people who have caused immense pain in our lives is to dehumanise them, and this seems to work for Crystal. One thing I love about this programme is that it does not seek to pathologise a patient’s symptoms but rather walk alongside them in a journey allowing someone not to feel isolated and alone.

Crystal observes to Charlotte that 7 does not look like 7 as she’s too old. Crystal has drawn her to look more like an adolescent and is not happy with this representation. Chronologically,7 is only four.

This is the age when Crystal was adopted. In the team meeting the tragic circumstances leading up to this adoption were revealed. They involved physical abuse and neglect. Crystal’s was a traumatic upbringing to say the least. We respond to trauma in different ways. Crystal also feels punished by the rats when she eats and so cuts afterwards, although she suggests to camera the rats have done it. Also discussed in the team meeting are the negative characters being a response to angry or jealous feelings.

On a home visit her parents are alarmed by these characters, and her mother confiscates a hair clip which has had the plastic pulled off thus having the desired effect of making it sharper and blunter to enable Crystal to use it to practice self-injurious behaviour.

In the grip of these hallucinations it is not only herself Crystal wants to harm. Also she reports that she has wanted to harm her stepfather Bill.

To me this is an impulse governed by fear. Fear that something good could be taken away and replaced with bad, which is after all a mirror image of her life up to this point.

When  staff take Crystal out for a walk they persuade her that the best solution is one that will keep her Dad safe also.

The fears of families are another thing central to this episode. The biggest fear of Crystal’s parents is that her hallucinations are rooted in schizophrenia or psychosis.

Luckily for them, they were not but merely a coping mechanism to help her process the trauma of a difficult childhood. This is not uncommon. It is far easier to externalise traumas which have happened to you than to own them inside yourself. Indeed as Dr Ihenacho explains, children often indulge in fantasy between the ages of three and four. For me Crystal clearly had a vivid creative streak and was able to bring these traumas to life through art and fiction. Dr Ihenacho seemed confident that as Crystal created these characters she herself would be able to destroy them and was discharged from the unit.

This week was also a life changing episode for Gill. We saw her last week spending a lot of time under 24-hour supervision in the McGuinness Unit’s acute corridor under and unable to mix freely with other patients.

This time, we see her trying to build relationships up with her family. Familial relationships are very important and if these are damaged for whatever reason it can cause damage to an adolescent also. Gill disclosed this week that when she was growing up at a very young age she spent a lot of time caring for younger siblings whilst her mum had cancer. I suspect that she struggled to have a childhood of her own, plus that she probably imploded taking on adult responsibilities at such a young age.

All humans are built differently and we all respond to stress differently too. I think out of all the psychological qualities we need to cope with life, resilience is the hardest one to build up as there are so many things in the world that can knock it down again.

But Gill’s family came to visit this week and brought her an ice lolly. Simple things mean a lot to people with problems and those living away from home in restricted spaces. For it is more difficult to access the outside world and buy your own ice lolly. Her smile was priceless.

Little things mean so much. I think One Direction would agree with me. We then see Gill going into the hospital grounds for walks with her mother which are gradually increased in increments of five minutes, building up to a full 20 by the end of the episode. She is under supervision and with staff as well as her mother. It feels like some sort of rapport is being established and I feel an increasing sense of hope for Gill as the episode progresses.

Gill also goes out to a local shopping centre and is really excited. She said “it’s just nice to go out with normal people.”

Now I often wonder to myself what normal means but I understand Gill’s point in this context. It is nice to be a label free person; to have nobody know you are from a psychiatric unit.

Although she had one slip up during the episode, this is the only time we only saw her in the acute corridor. This is a massive improvement on numerous times. The episode ended with the happy news she was being taken off her section after taking it to panel. The death of a friend kick started better motivation in Gill. Sometimes we all need that. Events that encourage us to simply take stock and reflect.

We also revisit Beth this week. At times in this episode she appears to be complying with the Rainbow Programme more and at other times she appears to regress. But that is the harsh truth of anorexia. There are many ups and downs, with the two extremes often interchangeable.

A lighter moment for Beth happens this week when she composes a poem with other patients, with jokes about being mental and living in a mental home. Now in as much as the programme is trying to break down stigma by reducing insensitive jokes around mental health and misuse of words like crazy and mental, I think that those who have mental health problems are entitled to use them. It is simply a way of coping with society’s lack of understanding of them. The poem was quite cool too.

Dr Ihenacho and the team also have to deal with a very sad development for Beth this week. It is a letter she writes to staff, explaining that she wants to die, but that she is not sure how to do it or get away with it in the McGuinness Unit.

Now of course this is very sad, and gauging faces of the staff when they view it they too are saddened. For the staff to are not detached automatons but people who have feelings also and want to help. It is never nice to see anyone struggle.

People don’t realise just how desperate the mindset of anorexia can become. It takes over literally everything, indeed Beth admits that her eating disorder was a method of controlling her life and that staff were now trying to take back control away from her.

Now, the narration states clearly that Beth wrote that letter to staff. Often suicidal ideations are just that -thoughts but left bottled up and unexpressed they can become dangerous for people who experience them. The letter was sad, and Beth may have ups and downs but I am glad she felt safe enough to write down reflections on paper to enable them to be discussed, and to ensure staff were able to help and support when she was struggling.

We see her beginning to eat more this week, but poignantly we also see that this new found eating comes at a price.

She feels she needs to punish herself for eating and so cuts herself afterwards. This is another feature of anorexia. It is devious. It can fool you into thinking that even the most natural of everyday behaviours are somehow wrong.

We return to the themes of judgement and support in a psychiatric setting. Beth says on the topic of self harm;

“In here everyone’s done it. Nobody judges you in a psychiatric unit. When I do it it’s nice to see the pain coming out in the blood.”

That is what people with mental health problems need in a sense. A judgement free space without worldly condemnation. The problem is even though mental health problems are not widely understood, it does not prevent people from expressing opinions which well, to be diplomatic lack nuance. Such opinions can be damaging and not conducive to well being.

Regarding pain and blood let me explain a little further. We can see physical pain. If we fall over and injure ourselves, we may see a bruise or cut. However it is harder to see the pain that lurks within our souls. So self harm then is a way of seeing your emotional pain manifest itself physically and this is what Beth is talking about. We all deal with pain differently. Beth says on the outside people judge you on the way you look, and that she would find it difficult to go out with her scars – these are the result of her self-injurious behaviour.

Indeed, some have queried whether there is a need for such graphic footage of self harm in the programme. To those against it I say two things. First of all this programme is designed to raise awareness. It cannot do that fully without confronting the most difficult and perhaps visually disturbing aspects of mental health.

Secondly I have my own views about scars. There are also for me signs of battles won as well as battles lost. Soldiers have scars after fighting in war zones sometimes. Are they ashamed? Sometimes learning to live with scars is part of recovery. That includes the internal scars as well as the external ones which are so often a feature of mental health problems.

Finally we see by the end of the programme that Beth is no longer classified in the anorexia nervosa band but in the underweight one. This is a huge accomplishment. We saw her at Christmas unable to go home and having to have Christmas away from her family. Beth’s friend remarks upon how well she’s doing and how much she wants her to get better.

At the end of the episode though we saw Beth denied an appeal to come off her section.

What I learnt most from this episode was again about stigma and the importance of thinking free of value judgements in relation to mental health. Also how important our family and  friends are when it comes to maintaining or indeed not be able to maintain our mental health unit a young age. Many factors can precipitate a mental health breakdown and it is nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of.

Crystal’s characters it seemed to me were manifestations of the good and bad people in her childhood

I look forward to the final episode next week.

Don’t Call Me Crazy: BBC Three (Part 1)

TRIGGER WARNING  Mentions anorexia, mental health, and the misunderstandings around it. Do not read if in an unsafe place emotionally. A link to the first episode ishere, and available for download.






Let me ask you a question. Out of the two following people who would you feel most sympathy for? A person learning to walk again after an accident and taking 10 steps in 20 minutes, or a girl who managed two sips of a food supplement drink in 20 minutes?

I would bet that there would be some people who would say the former. They would say the first person had an accident, the second one did it to themselves.

This is exactly the kind of attitude and being frank prejudice which “Don’t Call Me Crazy” has been commissioned by BBC Three to address.

We are introduced to 3 of the McGuinness Adolescent Mental Health Unit in Manchester.

We meet Beth who, at the time of filming  has anorexia and self harms. We also meet Gill who is an extreme self harmer, is described as volatile and as we see over the course of the first episode of Don’t Call Me Crazy needs to be restrained by several members of staff at regular intervals.

Lastly we meet Emma, who charts her struggles with OCD in the course of filming.

You can see here too that the staff are walking  a fine line between exercising compassion and understanding the reasons that have brought them to a psychiatric unit, and a desire to maintain the physical health and ultimately help them recover.

In fact the values of the McGuinness unit embody those sadly lacking in society. The patients provide mutual support to one another, as can be seen when they play a game tying each other together with bandages. In this game they have to depend on each other in order that they can move at the right time. We can see that they trust each other and this is heartwarming when you think society has probably rejected them due to their mental health problems.

As Claire one of the senior staff nurses on night duty puts it;

“I often get asked, do you lock them in their bedrooms? No we’re a hospital; we’re nurses. These are just young people going through adolescence which I think is a form of madness at the best of times with a few extra problems on top.”

Educational opportunities and therapy within the unit also provide opportunities for self reflection. To me, the young people at the McGuinness unit seem very clued up about their own mental health, in fact more clued up than the average member of society.

This inside knowledge also means that young people are acutely aware of the stigma surrounding mental health. They talk of how people appropriate their experiences by saying things like “I like things clean, I’ve got OCD!”

However well-meaning such a strategy is misguided. Liking cleanliness is natural. Cleanliness and compulsions mutating into obsessions is not.

For these young people mental illness is debilitating and a hard road. They also talk of the pain they feel at having to justify their mental illness to people which I believe to be and abhorrent thing to have to do. As Emma puts it so eloquently “you wouldn’t ask somebody why they have a cold [and suggest] there’s no reason for them to have it. Nobody should have to do justify their mental illness to anybody. Everyone with a mental illness should be treated with compassion, love and understanding. Yet, I am also acutely aware that the world does not work on the bases of this credo tragically.

Emma contends also that the staff interfering with the belongings in a bedroom will result in something bad happening to her mother. This is how debilitating mental illness can be. It is almost rationalised irrationality.

We then see Beth battling with her body. She could not at the time of filming see that there was something wrong. She resisted intervention even sneaking a Diet Coke into the unit to supplement meals. Saying “just eat!” Is simply not appropriate here. It won’t work and will most likely fall on deaf ears.

Eating disorders are not about food and weight but instead about the feelings food engenders. If your life feels out of control, or going through a period of intense emotional upheaval then food may feel like the only thing you can control. Some people call anorexia ‘the ED voice.’

It’s one of the worst things in the world. It will teach you that everything is always right but the world is in fact wrong. When in the grip of anorexia people believe that not eating will solve problems. Real feelings are endlessly substituted for the word ‘fat’ because real feelings at times feel too painful to face.

When I asked you at the opening of this article which person you felt more sorry for, Beth was the girl I had in mind. The reality of course is that both should be felt sorry for. For it is just as hard for somebody with an eating disorder or recovering to take the first few sips of a meal supplement drink as it is for someone to learn to walk after an accident.

She is matter of fact, showing her lack of food intake as a positive, after remarking that (paraphrasing) a combination of methods are needed to achieve weight loss. This intellectual discourse is a way of distancing from emotional pain.

We should promote greater sensitivity around mental health problems. It pisses me off that in 2013 so many people still don’t get it. That’s why I for one am glad the McGuinness unit opened its doors to television cameras in order to allow fiction and fact to be separated out.

If support and understanding is lacking in mainstream society, it is definitely not lacking in the McGuinness unit. You can see plainly that the place despite the pain is full of love. Patients support each other, transcending the boundaries of their own illnesses to offer unselfish and unconditional support.

You can see this in evidence from the time Gill absconded, through to the collective sadness when somebody leaves. When something happens to one person, it has a domino effect on everybody causing ripples of upset.

There is true community here. It is not the real world but a microcosm of it and when you are segregated from society for your own safety it is all you have. Having lived in communal environments I can appreciate this myself.

What happens there matters. It is keenly felt by all patients. They cannot go anywhere else if they want to get better. There are professionals who care who understand and who want to help.

I don’t think any of the people featured in the first episode or any of the show I am sure are mad or crazy. They are human. If you think otherwise the I put it to you that maybe it is you who needs your head examined.

I’d just like to finish with an anecdote of my own. I was at university I had just been diagnosed with depression, and I was walking home from my GPs surgery in my wheelchair.

I lived opposite a psychiatric hospital. The weather was very cold and there was snow on the ground. I saw three girls walking out of the hospital, probably patients.

“Merry Christmas”, they called. Now it wasn’t even Christmas but I needed a smile so laughed at the absurdity of the situation. They asked me if I was okay and gave me a hug each of them. A long one.

A mental health hug as I like to call it. They are longer than average and seemed warmer and more sincere than the polite social gesture. Fruit loops, my carer muttered. I argued with them when we got back. Those girls did more for me in five minutes after a tough doctor’s appointment that most people do in a lifetime. The irony of mental health problems is that those with them are often the most compassionate in my experience. Maybe we can all learn something from that.

NB I shall be blogging on  the following two episodes also.